i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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