i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
