sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
