Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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