Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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