She's JV to your varsity
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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