hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
