I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
No more Irish car bombs ever.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
