so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
