need another drink. this is the easiest way
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Do vagina's smell?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
