Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
