i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
