im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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