I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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