If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
