I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
