had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
