I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
