I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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