I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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