Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I think your dad took our porno
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
