when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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