i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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