If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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