This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
