Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I am mentally ready for anal.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
