I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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