My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
