handjob tips. give me some.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
