I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
