: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
A bitchslap is in order.
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