I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize