Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
