Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
