Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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