I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
