I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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