32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Randomize
