Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
love makes seman taste better
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I can't turn off my feet"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
