i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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