marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
P.S. I can't hear my feet
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
