sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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