the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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