New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
