this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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