remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Send help, water and tortillas.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Randomize
