she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
