She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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