Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize