Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
