Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
