C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
