I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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