yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
