I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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