what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
