pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
