I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Can you bring me the toilet please
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
