It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize