Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
