Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
