...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
