I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
