I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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