shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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