Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
