My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
